The Writers Guild of America has done what thousands of guerilla terrorists, shadow governments, evil family members, tanks, suitcase nukes, handcuffs, warlords, drug dealers, planes, trains, and automobiles could not do: It has killed Jack Bauer.
That's not entirely accurate, since Jack can't really be killed. But he has been told to take an extra-long vacation.
To cope with the writer's ongoing strike and the expected loss of original programming, the new season of "24" will be indefinitely postponed, possibly until next fall or even January 2009. Kiefer Sutherland was not available to comment, though odds are pretty good he will soon be masterminding a way to sneak into the offices of studio chiefs everywhere, screaming, "WHERE'S THE MONEY!?!?" Your guess is as good as mine, Kiefer.
No word at this hour how the former residents of Welworth were taking the news. Say - Fallon, you are now a savvy business consultant, and Luke & Angelo are aspiring lawyers. Several others of you are now immersed in the world of corporate America - since you now work for "The Man", you tell me: what's the most effective way for management to break the union stiffs and get back to thinking up ridiculous escapes for Jack Bauer to pull off with ease?
Of course, the testosterone-driven audience of "24" is not the only one which will suffer. Gentlemen and Ladies, enjoy this month's new episodes of "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (shut down yesterday), "The Office" (shut down production today),"Desperate Housewives" (shuts down production tomorrow), "Grey's Anatomy" (shutting down on Friday), "Two and a Half Men" (yesterday), "Family Guy" (already shut down) and all versions of "Law & Order" and "CSI" (shutting down sometime next week).
And what of that one particular show which a high-concentration of this blog's readers watch? No word on how the strike has affected production out in Hawaii, but all the people I've talked to at the Disney lot say "Lost" is in a particularly hard position, since the co-showrunner, Carlton Cuse, sits on the negotiating committee for the Writer's Guild. They do not expect ABC to follow in Fox's footsteps and shelve the new season indefinitely, but they also know that "Lost" will have only 8 of the scheduled 16 episodes completed before they too are forced to shut down because of the strike.
Put it all in a nutshell: as of 12:01 AM Monday, every writer's pencil in Hollywood was put down. Every laptop was switched off. That means no new content. No new content means the networks will flush the remaining episodes they have and then see how many reality TV shows & game shows (like the one I just finished working on) they can put on the air before advertising dollars run away and the audience stops watching all togehter. Quickest way to get back to the island (remember...WE HAVE TO GO BACK!) and let Jack resume his terrorist ass-kicking is to turn off your TV once November ends. Just let it sit there and die. Because somebody has to cave in this fight, and the networks/studios will only do it once it becomes clear they have nothing left which the viewing public wants.
Don't you just love good-ole fashioned labor knock-down, drag-outs?
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